Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Lupus Brain, I am so tired of you...

One of the things which happens when I'm experiencing cognitive impairment from lupus is that my short-term memory basically takes a vacation.  One day the sweet guy I live with, D, made a big mistake and erased the phone message of a medical appointment for which I had totally forgotten the time.  I showed up too late to be seen and was charged a fee for the missed appointment.  Also the new appointment was very hard to schedule.  Well D had naturally assumed that with both a computer calendar and a calendar I carry in my purse and the little cards the receptionists give you when you make a medical appointment were more than enough for me to be able to show up on time.  But with lupus brain, I could not remember the time.  I had not written it down in clear handwriting due to an arthritis attack.  I couldn't remember where my appointment card was.  I forgot to enter it on the computer.

Today I came home from an out-of-town dentist appointment very tired and worried about a lot of things I really have to do and was so glad that tomorrow would be a day at home.  Also I wanted to rest before the appointment I made to continue to participate in the study which is now tracking my very low B cell count which was a response to the treatment in the study.

But no one erased the phone messages this time.  It seems I have one appointment out of town tomorrow and one in a different city from the study appointment on Thursday.  I don't know how this is going to sort out but at least I now know I screwed up.  My memory?  Totally blank on all of the appointments.  If they weren't written down I wouldn't remember any of them.  Admittedly I have a lot more medical appointments than most people and it is relatively easy to make mistakes.  But it's the lupus brain stuff, when I have it going on, that just wipes the memory slate and leaves me without a clue regarding where I'm supposed to be when.

I used to worry, when I was in my twenties, that I had Alzheimer's...except mine comes and goes...


About Me

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I've travelled the distance from an Ivy League college to decades of enforced poverty--because I've needed to qualify for government health care in the U.S., since being diagnosed with lupus at the age of 23. I have a personal blog at http://beepbeep.livejournal.com that I've had so long I'm probably stuck with :) My other blogs are here on blogger...