Monday, December 28, 2009

Waiting for Godot, I mean surgery date

I've got one of those migraines of major doom.  It started yesterday.  It responded to Maxalt for some time but then returned.  After three Maxalts I realized it would just keep boomeranging.  I then took hydromorphone for the pain, as I am instructed to do.  With my liver pain and liver enzymes elevated I didn't want to try Vicodin first as I usually do, since the liver doesn't care for the acetaminophen in Vicodin.  People forget how hepatotoxic Tylenol can be...

I'm trying very hard not to take anything narcotic today because I really need to go to the post office to pay for my support group's PO box before year-end, pay a bill at the bank, and get some food that I can eat without totally spitting on one of my medical diets.  But I haven't had a break in the migraine action long enough to feel safe driving even sans pain meds.  I've been getting vertigo along with the nightmare pain.  This thing basically has got to go.

Anyway.  When asking about my preop appt. I found out my surgery is going to have to be pushed back due to a change in the doctor's schedule.  So I no longer know my surgery date.  I will still have tests in LA on the 2nd.  I know the surgery will be at the very least a total hysterectomy with ovaries et. al. removed.  I'm hoping it can be done laparoscopically due to my poor wound healing from immunosuppressive treatment for lupus as well as the diabetes.  The tests on the 2nd will have some bearing on whether this is possible.

I really want to be held and kissed and comforted.  But I've always been really stoic, at least on the outside, and I don't know if people really know that inside I'm an emotional vulnerable lonely gullible soft thing.

On the outside I can joke about adversity (having become somewhat used to it) and kick ass when I have to (an outer personality change that was painful and took a very long time but was totally necessary for survival starting with fighting for the diagnosis of my mystery disease, not hypochondria but: lupus.)

I didn't realize I had quite so many of the risk factors for this endometrial cancer of the uterus.  I knew I was high-risk but not, I guess, megahigh risk!  It all has to do with how much exposure to estrogen one has.

My collection of the risk factors include:  starting my periods before age 12, never having been pregnant, irregular or possibly even no ovulation after starting Cell Cept for lupus treatment in 1997, diabetes, obesity (thank you so much, prednisone.  Oh yes, you are life-saving in lupus, but you come with quite a price in side effects), possible PCOS .

I'm really glad my new gynecologist did a biopsy of the uterus instead of relying on my normal PAP smear.  PAP is for cancer of the cervix, not the endometrium of the uterus.

Why won't this migraine GO AWAY?  I need to do laundry and answer a backlog of email.  This is so frustrating.  Vamoose, migraine!  Abracadabra!

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I've travelled the distance from an Ivy League college to decades of enforced poverty--because I've needed to qualify for government health care in the U.S., since being diagnosed with lupus at the age of 23. I have a personal blog at that I've had so long I'm probably stuck with :) My other blogs are here on blogger...